You are hereTwo women redefine friendship and motherly love
Two women redefine friendship and motherly love
Mindy Kelly was ready to have children when her breast cancer interfered. The doctors advised her to save and freeze her embryos before her treatments. "That was the hope during the whole pregnancy, that there were embryos ready for her to have children," said good friend Sara Megibow.
A few years later, Mindy was once again ready to have kids. Once again the doctor advised against it. said, "I found out from my doctor that it would be a really bad idea and that it almost definitely will bring back my cancer and I probably wouldn't survive."
A devastated Mindy called on her best friend Sara for support but got a whole lot more. Sara volunteered to carry Mindy's egg and Forest's sperm in her body as a gestational surrogate.
Sara said, "I said I would do it for them and it really was just a gut reaction. There was no rhyme or reason. Certainly nothing I had ever pre-planned or thought about in advance."
That was only the beginning. Sara, her husband Marc and five-year-old son Elan, along with Forest and MIndy went to Conceptions fertility clinic to learn more about the procedure. Two embryos were implanted into Sara's uterus. There was a 60 percent chance that either would take, a 30 percent chance that one will take and a 1 percent chance both would survive. Then there were the numerous shots of estrogen, progesterone and hcg on top of pills and patches.
"This was different because they wanted me extremely fertile to keep the baby but not to ovulate," said Sara, about the medical procedures. Mindy is mixed with emotions. She is overjoyed that Sara was willing to do this but at the same time, wishes that this could have been her. "As amazing as it was, it was equally heartbreaking for me that I wasn't the one able to carry this little guy in me," said Mindy.
Surrogates are not an uncommon practice. The movie "Baby Mama" features the traditional pregnancy where the mom is biologically related. Other celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick have publicized the gestational pregnancy when another women's womb is carrying the sperm and egg.
"I felt like the babysitter for nine months. Like I told my son, we are taking really good care of Mindy and Forest's baby and when the the day came, he was Mindy and Forest's baby not mine," said Sara to the question of the difficulty of giving the baby up. She agrees with the surrogate mom bloggers who say that it isn't as hard to give up the baby because the body seems to produce a chemical defense system, saying this isn't my baby so there is no attachment.
Surrogacy laws vary in different jurisdictions. Some jurisdictions find gestational surrogacy to be illegal. Colorado doesn't have any provisions so the intended parents may be recognized right at birth.
Sara looks forward to sharing in baby Trey's life, and she will always have a special role as Godparent with her husband Marc.